Tuesday, April 22, 2008

The mini van

As I walked home from the gym this evening, I heard some bumpin music. From the corner of my eye I could see that it was literally making a car "bump." Upon further inspection, I notice that this was not a car, but a mini van. The bumpin' mini can be seen below.

My mom used to drive a mini van when we were kids. It was red. My sister and I wondered why we couldn't call it a "Mickey van." She was the typical West End Soccer Mom- without all the pretentiousness of course. She literally was the "soccer mom" of our teams for several years. We were totted around in that mini van to and from girl scouts, swim lessons, cheerleading practice, and GA's. Our family took it on trips. We had all the room in the world. However, one of us would inadvertantly get upset because the cow's were on "sassy's side" or the hay (heeey, mom! yes? no, look haaaay!) was on Pristen's side. Ah, the good ol' days before mini van's filled me with dread.

What amazes me most about the stereotype of the soccer mom driving a mini van (which is now transforming into a gas guzzeling SUV as the soccer mom vehicle of choice) is the variety of mini van drivers in reality.

Besides the soccer mom (obviously), we have several other varieties of mini van drivers. Notice I do not say owners, as some of these young drivers are in their parents mini. These new drivers think their parents mini is the bane of their existance. However, they would rather drive the mini than ride their Schwinn.

Another, younger varietal of mini driver is the hippie as is seen below. This driver is fond of wearing a beard (or armpit hair for the female variety) and slogans on his tee. Notice he also has a slogan on his mini. A rare sighting indeed.

Another younger variety that may resemble the hippie driver at times is the liberal mini driver. The liberal mini is often found at the local college campus during a tailgait (think The Best Man). This variety is particularly proud of his mini and will typically drive it until this beloved van runs into the ground. This mini driver is found of removing the back seats so as to store more hiking, biking, camera, or scuba gear. Do not be surprised to find several outfits, shoes, a sleeping bag or pillow stowed in the back of this mini.

An older variety of mini van driver is the Grandpa mini driver. He is frequently seen traveling at least 10 miles under the speed limit on I-64.

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